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    老 幺


    王遴菲

      “幺”,莫非他是家里排行最小的?可后來才知道,這只是鄰里間給他起的綽號。老幺已經五十多歲了,從干這行開始,每天都來,雨雪都攔不住,八九年了。

      其實門前路過的賣魚人不止老幺一個,可大家卻格外關照老幺的生意。尤其是我奶奶,每天買老幺的魚不說,還喜歡和他聊天,一嘮叨便要十來分鐘,完全不理會別的賣魚人。問她為什么,她說,老幺老實,從不亂抬價,不像其他幾個賣魚人,不僅油腔滑調的,魚的質量還不好。

      久而久之,老幺的名聲更響了,大家路過也不忘和他打招呼:老幺,今天有些什么魚啊?

      那天,爺爺奶奶去吃酒席,忙著寫作業的我留守在家。奶奶臨走之前還不忘交代我買老幺的魚。

      “大姐!在家嗎?”時間一到,老幺習慣性地朝屋里喊著奶奶。

      “來了!”我大聲應和。

      見了老幺,我吃了一驚。我第一次這么近距離地看他,原來老幺又黑又瘦,額上的皺紋很多,兩鬢也全白了。“今天想吃什么魚呀,丫頭?奶奶不在,你做主吧!”他熱情地向我笑著,“在學校很累吧,一定要好好補補。”“就來兩條鯽魚吧。”“好嘞!”話音未落,老幺便忙著選魚,稱重,嘴里還不忘和我說話:“你奶奶說她這幾天胃不舒服,這樣還是吃些清淡的好,就不要每天買魚了,吃不完,浪費……”

      聽到這些,我好感動。為奶奶的身體,更為老幺的關心與體貼。“來,丫頭,拿著,別讓貪吃的貓看見了。”“多少錢?”“就六塊吧,現在的魚價跌了不少。”

      我邊說便宜邊在口袋里摸索。可我忽然想起,平時一向顧這想那的奶奶,臨走之時竟忘了給我買魚錢。

      正尷尬不已,老幺仿佛一下子讀懂了我的心思:“沒事,先賒在這兒吧,明天給也一樣。現在的學生整天埋頭苦學,不補補身體可不行!”說完,還不忘沖我笑笑,希望我不要在意。

      看著老幺離去的背影,忽然覺得心里好暖,總想著別人,很少考慮自己,給別人省錢,不計算自己的利益。老幺,這樣的人太少了。

      也許,多年的相處,老幺早已把他口中的“大姐”“丫頭”當作了自己的親人吧。而在我們心里,他何嘗不是親人呢?

        

    好文快評:

      這是一篇飽含情感的佳作。文中主人公“老幺”,在經過“多年的相處”后,“早已把他口中的‘大姐’‘丫頭’當作了自己的親人”,而作者也把老幺“當作了自己的親人”!作者通過概括介紹老幺的基本情況,通過敘述老幺賣魚給“我”的經過,通過對老幺的肖像、語言、動作和對“我”的心理描寫,證明了這份感情不是虛言。

     

    寫法點睛

    用多種描寫展現人物性格

      寫人的文章,離不開對所寫人物的描寫,即肖像(含神態)、語言、動作及心理的描寫。既可以有正面描寫,又可以有側面烘托。要想使所寫人物形象具體豐富,可以對所寫人物展開多種描寫。本文先是通過奶奶和鄰里對老幺的態度,側面烘托出老幺“淳樸、老實”的特點。在重點敘述老幺賣魚給“我”的過程中,文章對老幺進行了多方面的正面描寫,展現了老幺的可貴品質。同時,文中也通過對“我”的心理描寫,表現了“我”對老幺的深情。

     

    文章來源于:《語文報》作文素材快線2017年7-8月

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