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    初一寫作技法:如何寫好“家”


    如何寫好“家”

     

    范守綱

     

     

        現代家庭大多是三口之家。爸爸、媽媽、女兒(或兒子)三點連線,就勾畫出一個特定的三角區。在這個溫馨的小區內,爸爸“現身說教”,媽媽“百般疼愛”,少年“自說自話”,廚房、臥室、客廳、電視、書籍、琴棋,演繹出一個又一個平凡而動人的小故事。

        據調查,中學生的“煩惱排行榜”中,與父母沖突一項繼“學習”、“社交”、“早戀”后,列第四位。這是一個不容忽視的問題。兩代人的“沖突”,在中學生作文中多有表現:

        “你沒有權利看我的日記。”

        “我是你爸爸,難道父親連看女兒日記的權利也沒有嗎?”

        “對,就是沒權利,日記是寫給我自己看的。”

        “你還嘴硬!”——“啪”,他一揚手,我的臉上起了“五指山”……為此我不知流過多少眼淚。

        這是家庭生活中的一幕。兩代人的“矛盾”多種多樣,飲食起居,生活習慣,待人接物,學業負擔,興趣愛好等等,父母與子女在認識上都會有“落差”,都會有“爭論”。有思想內涵,能反映一定的觀念差異的“沖突”是有表現價值的題材。如“偷看日記”的權利之爭,這里不是一般的管教方法優劣的比較,而實質上是對“家長制教育”的沖擊,是自我意識的一種覺醒。文章在眾多的家庭矛盾中表現這樣的“沖突”,就具有典型意義和現實意義。描寫家庭生活,選擇“沖突”,至為重要。

        中學生描寫兩代人的沖突,要緊的是寫出自己的理解。“可憐天下父母心”,幾乎可以說,“愛”是青少年筆下“爸爸媽媽”所有言行的概括。請讀下面一節文字。一位少女羞于媽媽沒有文化,在廢品回收站工作,抬不起頭。就在女兒生日這一天,媽媽送來一張賀卡和一封信。文章寫道:

        望著這些歪歪扭扭極不工整的字,我仿佛看到媽媽吃力而認真地一筆一畫地寫著……我再也忍不住了,捧著信,我哭了,在心底里喊:“不,媽媽,是我錯了!你能原諒我嗎?”

        理解是心靈溝通的鑰匙。中學生對父母愛心的理解,往往有一個過程。這篇文章中,“女兒”的世俗觀念和麻木心態就是在母愛的行動中受感化而有所醒悟的。寫出理解的過程,特別是寫出兩代人的心理感應,體現理解的深刻性,是這段文字的感人之處,也是寫作同類文章取得成功的關鍵。

        突出細節,能增加文章的真實感和生動性。一般文章如此,寫家庭生活尤其顯示出細節的魅力。家庭生活大多平凡而瑣碎。選取有特點的、富有表現力的細節,“爸爸媽媽”的形象就有立體感,就會栩栩如生。“日記”事件中,“爸爸”的一記耳光(“一揚手”),凸現了一位“愛女心切”卻又缺乏“法制意識”的父親的形象。“生日”事件中,“媽媽”的“一張賀卡”和“一封信”,“歪歪扭扭極不工整的字”,顯示“媽媽”諒解、疼愛女兒的心,讀來令人心酸。沒有“一揚手”的粗暴動作,沒有浸潤愛意的“一張賀卡”和“一封信”,兩代人的“沖突”和“理解”,就不可能表現得那樣突出和深刻。

        揭示“沖突”的思想內涵(而不是就事論事地描述現象),寫出“理解”的心理過程(而不是一筆帶過只寫結論),突出細節的真實性(而不是口號式地空發一通感想),倘能如此,以家庭生活為題材的文章就有可能踏上一個臺階。

     

     

     

    大仲馬應聘

     

    喬忠延

     

        法國有位著名作家大仲馬。大仲馬寫過不少好文章,很受讀者的敬重。可是,年輕的時候,大仲馬曾經流浪街頭。

        有一天,大仲馬來到巴黎找父親的朋友,懇請他給自己找個謀生的差事,這有點像我們的走后門。

        父親的朋友問他:數學精通嗎?

        大仲馬搖搖頭。

        又問他:歷史精通嗎?

        大仲馬又搖搖頭。

        再問他:地理精通嗎?

        大仲馬再搖搖頭。

        父親的朋友耐著性子繼續問:法律精通嗎?

        大仲馬仍然搖搖頭,坦率地說:我什么也不精通,沒有長處。

        這一回該輪著父親的朋友搖頭了。他搖著頭說:

        請你先把自己的姓名、住址寫下來吧。

        大仲馬寫下了自己的姓名、住址,拔腿要走,卻被父親的朋友拉住:

        你的字寫得很漂亮嘛,這不正是長處么?你不應該滿足找個只能糊口的工作。

        大仲馬心頭一亮,精神一振,有了奮斗的信心和動力。從此,他努力讀書、寫作,數年后寫出了享譽世界的著作。

        也許在這個世界上,有才華的青年不止大仲馬一位,或許還有不少正和大仲馬當初一樣,混跡在流浪的人群中。可惜的是他們沒有碰上大仲馬父親的朋友,沒有碰上那么有見識的人,因而,他們只能繼續流浪。我們不妨把那位長者的見識看成一種思想,思想是思考的結果,也是比較的結果。比較可以看到自己的不足,也可以看到自己的長處。大仲馬把自己看得一無是處,莫非,正是只緣身在此山中?所以,我們在思考問題,咀嚼生活時,一定要從中跳出來,放到一個更大的天地里觀察比較,這樣我們的思想會更亮堂,才能夠把握住生活的關鍵。

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